casting off worry
emi2 project trip 8211
We returned from Ongole, Andhra Pradesh on September 25 and it has taken me what seems like forever to reflect on my time there, working with our team, meeting the people of Sarah's Covenant Homes and seeing the sweet children God has rescued out of the despair of government facilities and placed in SCH's care.
Part of the reason it has taken me so long to blog about the trip is my own processing time but part of the lag, I have to admit to you is my own worry. How can my words possibly be sufficient? How can I possibly share with you in full what God is doing in Ongole and what he did in my heart?
While we were in Ongole, God kept pressing on me to release my worries to Him. My worries about the children we met, the work that needed to be done, my own abilities, and on and on. First, in my daily devotion Jesus Calling (as a side note: this book was given to me by a dear friend and mentor in perfect timing to see me through some of the hardest days of my life last year. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. I am now in my second year of reading it daily and each day God uses it to meet me and encourage me where I am even in a whole new year in all new circumstances)
While we were in Ongole, God kept pressing on me to release my worries to Him. My worries about the children we met, the work that needed to be done, my own abilities, and on and on. First, in my daily devotion Jesus Calling (as a side note: this book was given to me by a dear friend and mentor in perfect timing to see me through some of the hardest days of my life last year. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. I am now in my second year of reading it daily and each day God uses it to meet me and encourage me where I am even in a whole new year in all new circumstances)
It said:
"Trust me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks - or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work along side Me."
Within the next few days, I continued to stumble upon encouraging scripture and grew more and more convicted - what is this worry and who does it serve?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight
- Proverbs 3:5-6 -
For his compassions never fail.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
- Lamenations 3:22-23 -
Then, just to completely seal the deal in my heart, in our last day in Ongole, John Dallman, eMi's new CEO preached in the local church we attended on Matthew 6 verses 25-34:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
God brought my worry to my attention and in my time since returning from Ongole has already asked me to live out my trust as He has revealed some opportunities, realities and really difficult decisions for what I will do when my time with eMi is over. It's clearly not an easy task to live without worry, and I'm starting to realize that though we can't really control worry or do away with it, we can be in control of our own response and I'm just praying for the strength to answer worry with prayerfulness, faith and thankfulness, knowing that God can use us right where we are and as we are, and though He may allow us to take a few steps in the wrong direction, but will never let us stumble so far that we are out of His grace.
I think my first step towards kicking worry to the curb is sharing all of my project trip experiences and the incredible things that Sarah's Covenant Homes is doing in Andhra Pradesh - so here goes...
Stay tuned - soon I promise!!
Within the next few days, I continued to stumble upon encouraging scripture and grew more and more convicted - what is this worry and who does it serve?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight
- Proverbs 3:5-6 -
For his compassions never fail.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
- Lamenations 3:22-23 -
Then, just to completely seal the deal in my heart, in our last day in Ongole, John Dallman, eMi's new CEO preached in the local church we attended on Matthew 6 verses 25-34:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
God brought my worry to my attention and in my time since returning from Ongole has already asked me to live out my trust as He has revealed some opportunities, realities and really difficult decisions for what I will do when my time with eMi is over. It's clearly not an easy task to live without worry, and I'm starting to realize that though we can't really control worry or do away with it, we can be in control of our own response and I'm just praying for the strength to answer worry with prayerfulness, faith and thankfulness, knowing that God can use us right where we are and as we are, and though He may allow us to take a few steps in the wrong direction, but will never let us stumble so far that we are out of His grace.
I think my first step towards kicking worry to the curb is sharing all of my project trip experiences and the incredible things that Sarah's Covenant Homes is doing in Andhra Pradesh - so here goes...
Stay tuned - soon I promise!!
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| our project team, prowling our 11-acre site in rain and mud |
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